Choosing Wisely Before You Divorce

Do you find yourself in a marriage that is filled with pain and conflict? Does it seem like you just “don’t love each other anymore?” Are you at the impasse of “irreconcilable differences?” Does it seem like all hope for a loving relationship has evaporated?

The next step for many couples at this point, is separation followed by divorce. While no one should stay in an abusive or violent relationship, many more marriages can be “saved” than most of us realize. Reconciliation is at the heart of the Gospel message. Nowhere is this message more needed than in marriages that are “on the brink”.

In my work with Marriage Savers, I discovered that a high percentage of marriages in severe crisis could be saved. Some ministries I worked with saw, as many as 80% of severely troubled marriages restored. These marriages were struggling to overcome adultery, addictions, bankruptcy, etc.

One study found that some couples who did little more than just “persevere,” wound up with significantly greater marital satisfaction five years later. Those who rated their satisfaction level at a one or two, rated it as a seven or eight five years later: with little or no counseling. The point is that your current distress level is not necessarily a predictor of your future satisfaction. God can bring change, even though things look bleak now.

Jeremiah 29:11 tells us, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” God has plans for your marriage.

Before you give up and start down the pathway toward divorce, stop and consider whether or not you have pursued every possible option. Leave no stone unturned. There is a wealth of resources available these days; support groups, mentors, seminars, online resources, etc.

Most of all you have the resources of heaven at your disposal. God is the God of reconciliation and He is able to do “far beyond what you could ever ask or think”. Jesus came to heal broken hearts, lives and marriages. You owe it to yourself and your family to do everything you can to “save” your marriage. God is a “very present help in time of trouble.” Let Him surprise you by turning your “mourning into joy” and giving you a “garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair”!